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Sunday, March 31, 2013
First of allow me to wish everyone a very happy Easter, the celebration of the Resurrection of the LORD should never go without a happy smile and a joyous greeting! 

Alright next I bring to you, the first proposal:

Okay so in case you have forgotten Mr. Collins main reason for visiting in the first place was to find a wife among the five sisters in the Bennet household. Because of Mrs. B he had set his sights on Miss Lizzy and in chapter 19 we see him make his move. Now I will worn you be prepared to either laugh or be annoyed or honestly a little of both. Reading it for a second time was a bitter sweet mixture of pain and humor. 

  Mr. Collins walks into the room in the middle breakfast and asks to talk to Lizzy alone and Mrs. B grabs Kitty and rushes out of the room before Lizzy can say anything. Lizzy tries to get out of being alone with him but her mother insists on her saying. Then he starts. First he has a speech about liking her more because she didn't want to be alone with him and how that obviously is desirable in a girl... 
  Then he says something about it being love at first sight which is a lie because he originally wanted Jane the jerk. Anyway he says
 "Almost as soon as I entered the house, I singled you out as the companion of my future life. But before I am run away with by my feelings on this subject, perhaps it would be advisable for me to stat my reasons for marrying-- and, moreover, for coming into Hertfordshire with the design of selecting a wife, as I certainly did."
And Lizzy is trying so hard not to laugh at the idea of Mr. Serious-Face's emotions running away with him that he ends up starting his speech. His reasons are thus, 
1 Because he is clergy it would set a good example of matrimony for his parish.
2 Because he is convinced it will "add very greatly to [his] happiness."
3 Because his very honorable patroness has recommended it. Twice. Without being asked. 
He has chosen to pick someone from Longbourn (the Bennet estate) instead of someone from his current town which is apparently filled with very attractive and agreeable young women because he knows that he will get the estate and his hoping to reduce the loss that they will fell when her honorable father dies. And yes he tells her all of this but that's not all my friends he continues.
He follows this by saying "nothing remains ... but to assure you in the most animated language of the violence of my affection." which he does by saying that its okay if she is poor and he isn't going to ask her dad for any money because he knows he can't pay him anything anyway, and that he will never speak of not getting any money after they are married. 
And here she finally tries to stop him. 
She essentially says "whoa nelly I haven't given you my answer yet which by the way is a very polite
no." 
And he misses it and is all "No way you are just saying that because girls these days like to say no and then get asked again so just let me do so and get it out of the way you foolish girl."
Lizzy is shocked and tries to turn him down again and he tries to compliment her, badly, and she tells him that it isn't going to help him at all. And he tries again thinking so much of himself that he can't possible picture a world where he would be turned down. Lizzy is now completely at a loss and ends up saying that she has no idea how else to turn him down. 
Then he actually goes on to say that there is no reason for her to turn him down he has a good income, good connections, his relation to her family, and of course the fact that she might be sort of attractive but that is by no means a promise of further proposals. 
To which Lizzy replies "Can I speak plainer?" NO my friend N O. 
He says "You are uniformly charming... and I am persuaded that, when sanctioned by the express authority of both your excellent parents, my proposals will not fail of being acceptable." 
Lizzy is at such a loss for words she literally just walks away to find her father and get him to tell Mr. Collins no because there is no way that a full grown man's refusal could be taken as flirting. 

And that concludes chapter one and the first proposal that Miss Lizzy gets. Because I do not want to only do one chapter but am aware that this is already pretty long I will do chapter 20 as shortly as possible which shouldn't be too hard since most of it is Mrs. B being a jerk.

So Mrs. B tries to do damage control with Mr. Collins and insists that if she talks to Mr. B that everything will be fixed. Instead what happens is Mrs. B says if she doesn't marry him she wont speak to her and Mr. B says that Lizzy will have to choose between parents because he wont speak to her if she does marry Mr. Collins. Mrs. B then starts going on and on and on about her nerves and how she is mistreated and how Lizzy is a horrible child. Charlotte shows up which you will wont to remember and the chapter ends with Mr. Collins saying he wont hate Lizzy and that he is sorry if he has been a jerk even though he says it sarcastically and doesn't really think that he could have possibly been at fault. 

Alright I will leave you all with that and I will get to work on what happens now. We all know that Mr. Collins is an idiot so trust me you wont want to miss what he does do recover from being turned down  by Lizzy. For faster updates become a minion, or follow me on tweeter @KauruRoss. 
Your semi-lazy writer forever,
Ross